There is a sentence in this I have not been able to stop thinking about: something like “I am cut off from the passion of religious women.”
This sentence fascinates me and makes me sad. I thought of three different meanings for it:
— “Other religious women exist, but I am blocked (by society, by men, by having mystical/feminist experiences labeled heretical) from communicating with them or drawing on their strength.”
— “I am not, or am no longer, religious, and therefore I cannot enter into the passion of these women, although there is something about their experience that I wish I could share.” This meaning had the most personal resonance.
— “Religious belief — even religious delusion — would provide a frame that made sense of my sufferings, but as it is I am being persecuted without even having the benefit of a cause.”
All of those interpretations seemed meaningful and powerful to me.